marriage & couples COUNSELING FROM A LIFE COACH PERSPECTIVE
WILLING COUPLES APPROACH
I believe that all fulfilling relationships begin with the desire and willingness to meet your partner's desires, as best you can, while coming to an understanding
or compromise about areas of disagreement. All relationships, even the best, have conflicts and disagreements, so do not be discouraged! I will show you how to manage conflict in a soothing connecting way that increases intimacy and compassion.
Some of my most valued and successful couples coaching methods come from training I received from the Gottman Institute. I will help you practice these methods which will enable you to hear and understand one another unlike before. The Gottmans are world renowned psychotherapists, scientific researchers and couples’ counselors. Founded in 1961, the Gottman approach to couples’ longevity are tried and true methods devised by John and Julie Gottman. These methods, which I rely heavily on, were created through 42 years of research with more than 3,000 couples by the Gottman Institute.
As your coach, I will spend time with you and your partner to carefully assess and determine areas in need of improvement before we move on to effective solutions. It would be my pleasure and honor to assist you with one of the most important aspects of life, your relationship.
I am a Professionally trained Life and Relationship Coach. I am not: A psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist or licensed Clinical Social Worker.
COACHING vs. counseling & therapy
Although Couples Coaching is not considered therapy, and I do not diagnose conditions, the process is inherently therapeutic. I do however take a good look at your past childhood conditions and environmental influences to help reveal patterns of thought and action. Together we will take a realistic look at current issues or problems and find solutions in the present. Therapists are required to provide a diagnosis to insurance companies. Coaching, however, does not involve that element and instead focuses on providing you with new tools, a perspective shift, resources, support, inspiration, and an intense listening ear.
WHAT IS COUPLES COACHING?
Couples Coaching is an exciting opportunity to give and receive the type of love and appreciation you both have been craving. It's an opportunity to think and act as a team in a way that actually feels good. As your coach I seek to assist you in knowing your strengths and your weak areas as a couple. We will bolster up the strengths and commonalities you share but have forgotten exist while working together on solutions to your weak points. As your Coach I will show you how to speak your partner's love language and get back to the closeness you once experienced. I will also help you to see how what you are arguing about is not about the small things that keep coming up, but more about feeling loved, knowing that you matter, and being seen and feeling appreciated. Through our work together you will know how to support one another in ways that reduce feelings of loneliness and frustration. Relationships are not always easy, but they pay off if you are willing to put in some effort and stick with it!
COMMUNICATION IS KEY
I find that a common difficulty in relationships is miscommunication, particularly if one or both parties have shut down and grown defensive. Many well-meaning individuals have adopted the type of communication and listening habits that are destructive to their relationships and to their self. As a result, you may end up feeling frustrated, alone, angry, or sad and void of the true intimacy you are seeking. If you can relate to this, I first want to ask you to be kind to yourself since you may be modeling your family pattern of communication, and have not had the opportunity to practice new skills. The fact that you are here looking for information to make improvements shows great courage and initiative, something to celebrate, so give yourself a pat on the back! My aim as your coach is to assist you in listening heart-to-heart to what the other is expressing. I will show you how to communicate clearly about your feelings and needs in a way that makes it easier for your partner to receive. You will find it easier to communicate what you have attempted to say many times in the past. You will also discover new ways to hear one another and what is at the root of what your partner says they want or do not want. This new communication style will enable you to re-connect and see them as your beloved not your enemy!